Coming Up for Air

I'm having withdrawals from blogging. Really, the entries have been in my brain and I haven't been able to get to the blog to get them out. Some serious undertoe of life came and pulled me under the past 3 weeks and I just now feel like I'm coming up for air.

A devotion I read last week convicted me...our greatest strength may also be our greatest weakness. That's true for me. My strength...I like to be involved, fully participate in life, start things, initiate things, create things, be in the middle of things, stay active. I love and enjoy so many different things. My weakness? All the same things - busy-ness...over-busy-ness.

A speaker I heard recently really hit home. You may identify. When we drive our cars, we know the only way they can run is on gas. So, like everyone else, I fill up my car with gas and I go. And go, and go. All cars are equipped with gas gauges. They tell us when our tanks are getting low. And even when that doesn't work to warn us when it's time to refuel, we have a little light that goes off to tell us we're dangerously low. And, for some, when that doesn't work, we have a car that talks to us to let us know exactly how much gas is left until the car will just quit. I'm pretty guilty of waiting until the light comes on to roll into the station to fill up a new tank. I'm also pretty guilty of doing this in my life.

Well, I not only have been driving and driving my life not paying attention to the level of fuel I have, I have been completely ignoring any signal or cue that it's time to stop and refuel.

In fact, last week, I had a night where I absolutely collapsed. I couldn't even hold my plate of supper, I was so exhausted and could only think of going to bed. My gas tank was completely out.

So, I'm having to recommit to health. And, stop to refuel. You know, that's interesting, too. We do have to pull over and actually stop in order to refuel. This really is a good metaphor. At any rate, thankfully I was able to fill up with a retreat to my favorite camp, Sumatanga, last Saturday, and a few days of vacation at my parents' house with my awesome sister and precious 20-month old nephew. While it wasn't restful chasing a toddler around for 5 days, it was restorative.

Now with a full tank, I am quite tempted to do all these things I haven't felt like doing in awhile - or to get back to everything and tackle my long project and to-do list. But, with all you witnesses (oh, the 4-5 of you who might read this), I really want to resist this. The price of fuel is pretty costly these days and I just can't afford to continue burning it at the pace I have been. I need to put that energy toward other things that are more important. Which, right now, includes physical health, sanity and peace of mind.

And I'm counting on you to help me keep my car parked a little more often.